I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
