I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
