his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
