I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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