She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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