Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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