I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
