listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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