You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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