READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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