I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Found your dick twin last night
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
