im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
