so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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