Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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