I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
