Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
