Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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