Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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