so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
