i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
foreskin is a definite game changer
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Two words: blizzard sex
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
