it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
