I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
