Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
