Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
