Non-Jews are for practice
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
