sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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