Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
