I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
