Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
