best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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