Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I have post one night stand depression
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