Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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