Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
