I like my sex mixed with concussions.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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