brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
