we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
