For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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