Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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