i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
