But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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