Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
