Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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