She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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