I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
