I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
