I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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