i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You need Xanax blowdarts
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
