you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
