you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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