We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
