please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
