never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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