found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
