I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
